“Cheating in a relationship is a sign of self-regulation failure. When it happens, it is a mistake. When it happens twice, it is unfortunate. But when it happens thrice or more, it is a pattern indicating primitive, uncivilized inhuman behavior.” — Here are 10 tips on how to know the person you are dating is cheating.
10 tips on how to know the person you are dating is cheating
1. Their phone becomes “off-limits” suddenly.
Your phone and computer should be fairly private things. But when you’re dating someone, it’s inevitable that they’ll have to use your devices at some point. So if your partner starts to guard their devices in a territorial way, you might have reason to be suspicious.
“It’s not unusual for a person to be on the phone a lot. However, if your partner appears to guard the phone when you’re around (e.g. shields it from view while texting or hides it when you walk by), then it’s a possibility he or she is hiding something,”
2. They’re going on unexpected and unexplained trips.
Our partners can travel for a million different reasons and it should not be cause for concern. But if your homebody partner is now racking up tons of frequent flier miles, you may want to find out why. This can also apply to you: If your partner is suddenly encouraging you to get out of the house (or even the country), they may be making time to cheat.
“If your partner suddenly becomes permissive of you going out more, working late, and taking trips without any indication that they will miss you while you’re away — and this is a strikingly different response — then they may be using their free time to cheat,”
3. They un-friend you or delete their social media accounts.
If your partner needs a break from social media, that’s one thing (we’ve all been there!). But if they tell you they deleted their social media accounts and friends say they’re still on Facebook, you may have to have a talk.
4. They accuse you of cheating.
If your partner is cheating, they may turn around and accuse you first. This can be a way to justify their own actions and try to pin the blame on you.
“When your partner has the capacity to do something like cheat, lie, or steal they will assume you might be doing the same,”
5. They make plans for the future without you in mind.
If your partner suddenly becomes wary about inviting you to a wedding months down the line or seems iffy about you coming to their family’s home for the holidays, they might see a future without you in it.
“He makes plans without thinking of you — whether it’s short term plans or plans for the future, if he intentionally (or even subconsciously) does not want you participating in his plans, it is a sign he may be cheating,”
6. Someone flat-out tells you.
If you’re getting unsolicited texts and messages from people telling you that your partner is cheating, your first instinct may be to tell them to buzz off. But if it’s happened more than once or they have concrete proof, you need to talk to your partner.
While your significant other should be the person you trust the most, if they betray that trust, it’s important you find out sooner rather than later.
7. They keep backing out of plans.
If you suddenly find yourself waiting for your partner when you have plans only to be disappointed when they cancel on you, you should talk to them. Keeping plans with your partner is not just about romance, but about respect, too.
8. They’re not into compromise.
Cheaters may tend to pick fights or not take your feelings into account, according to relationship experts. If you feel like your partner is suddenly becoming more stubborn or not listening to you, it may be a sign that they’re cheating.
“Every relationship involves compromise, but if your partner starts wanting everything his way, it is a red flag he’s unhappy and looking elsewhere,”
Alternatively, it may even be a sign not of an infidelity, but your relationship coming to an end.
9. They seem nervous around you
While there may be other factors in their lives that are stressing them out, if your partner seems nervous just around you specifically, it’s worth bringing it up to them to see if there is anything that they need to get off of their chest.
You begin to notice an emotional distance between the two of you. Things just aren’t the way they used to be
By Francis David Matthew