Cheating is an act of infidelity, it involves one having sexual relationship with someone other the person one is in a relationship with, cheating or sex is not a solo activity, it involves a male partner and a female partner, but the African society and Nigeria in particular is a very patriarchal and tends to find excuses for the male partners or the male party but uses the sledge hammer on the female who cheats, sometimes I wonder why the society finds excuses for a cheating male but tends to look at the woman involved in cheating as a prostitute.
The Nigerian society has the notion that men are polygamous in nature, hence cheating becomes their second name and begin to wonder, if a man can cheat and gets pardoned because they society has limited them to be dogs on heat who can’t control their sexual libido, then why can’t the same excuse be made for the cheating women, humans are sexual beings, so why is one party favored and the other disadvantaged, the reason is not farfetched, the African culture was made by men, it’s the men’s world and they tend to bend rules to benefit them. Cheating is bad and hurts a lot excuses should not be made for men, the way a man feels hurt when his woman cheats is the same way a woman feels hurt when are man cheats, so telling the woman to accept it the ideology that men are polygamous in nature is hypocritical.
The society justifies a man’s cheating with the assertion that it is not easy to eat one type of food all the days of his life, I get very uncomfortable with this assertion and I ask myself, does it mean that women are meant to eat one type of food all their married life, why does the society see cheating by a woman as abomination and then finds flimsy and lame excuse to justify the same action by a man, because I am pretty sure that women wants to experiment other dick size, other dick length and experience bouncing by men other the person they are in a relationship with, if the society abhors women from this kind of voyage why then does she pardons men, why not condemn cheating by both parties in its entirety
A woman catches her husband cheating, she is blamed either for not spicing her bedroom life, for being uncaring, she is asked to pray for her husband, to endure and sometimes to smile even when her heart bleeds and aches, why does the society not give the same advice to the husband or male partner of a cheating woman, why is he not told to spice up his sex life, make his fashion sense top notch, hit the gym, step up his personal hygiene, become more caring and then find what it is he lacks that makes his woman cheat on him, but instead he is taught to see it as disrespect to see it like it as an abomination and end the relationship and then one begins to wonder why two persons commit the same offense but gets different punishment, rating and attention because of their gender.
It’s high time Africans particularly Nigerians stopped the hypocrisy and call a spade a spade, criticize and condemn actions without sentiments, just as a man feels neglected and spited when his woman cheats, the female folks feels the same pain but she is taught by the society to see virtue where there is vice, to see normalcy where there is abnormality and then act like she’s the problem where as the society is not helping matters, we should speak out against this stereotyped view and thought pattern of the African society especially Nigeria.
By Akubuo Chigaemezu Martin